[This is the first story in the spring written by the incredibly talented Kira Scribbles. I hope you like this really funny story]
Easter Must Go On
Tony held his hands up to halt work in the warehouse and get everyone’s attention. “Listen up all! Big Ears himself is coming tomorrow so every bunny had better be on point with their coloring. No smeared edges, no cracked shells. I want everything to be perfect!” Disinterested faces stared back at him, noses twitched and they continued their work at the same meticulous pace.
“Why do I even try to motivate them anymore, It’s the same every year.” Tony scratched the top of his fuzzy brown head, making his back leg unconsciously thump the ground.
The minute he stepped into his office, Tony’s assistant, Suzy stepped forward with a warm carrot juice, “Here Sir, I made you a drink. It’ll calm your nerves. “ He took a large gulp from the tumbler and almost spit the mouthful in her cute white face. Suzy giggled at his bulging cheeks and wide eyed expression. “Sorry Sir, I should have warned you I put a little kick in there. “
He finished and handed the glass back, “Thanks Suzy, you’re a sweetheart. I’m just nervous about the Easter Bunny coming. Please don’t repeat this but I’ve heard they’re closing some of the factories due to the popularity of plastic eggs. They can have 3D printers make them for a fraction of what we get paid.”
Suzy’s crystal blue eye’s teared up in fear, “But…I have little ones. I need this job!”
Tony rubbed her back to comfort her as she cried, “It’s alright, nothing is certain yet. It’s still a rumor. “Her tiny pink nose finally stopped twitching and she wiped the tears from her fur. “Right! We can save our jobs; we just need to get every bunny to do better.”
Suzy had a plan. She hopped around the warehouse telling every bunny a more and more insane version of what was going to happen if they didn’t increase production this year. Every story but the truth, as Tony had asked her not to and she didn’t go back on a promise.
The coloring artists were told that if they didn’t speed up then they were going to be sent to an animal testing lab. The boilers and dryers were all informed they would go to the carrot farm as laborers. The delivery bunnies were terrified to learn they might be sent to a petting zoo.
She went through all the production areas and made sure they were thoroughly motivated. Smiling she went back to Tony’s office and waited for old Big Ears to arrive the next day. He was going to be impressed with the energy every bunny put into their production. They might be frightened, but they were moving cottontail.
Through a one way glass window, Tony watched the workers from his office above the warehouse floor. To him, it looked like his speech had pushed them to improve. He smiled and went to lunch.
The Easter Bunny showed up at the end of the next day. Tony greeted his boss and escorted him through the warehouse. As they passed, he looked back and caught looks of direct hostility being given to the Easter Bunny. “What’s that about?” he wondered to himself. When the factory tour was over, Tony gathered the workers together to listen to Big Ear’s speech.
The old bunny stood high on the stairs leading up to Tony’s office, “Some of you may have heard some rumors, and I’m here to tell you that it’s true. “ There was a massive uproar, and the crowd began yelling obscenities. “I’m not getting petted against my will!” and “You’re not testing lipstick on me!” were shouted at him while the mass of workers surged forward. Some began throwing eggs, and some bunny threw a paintbrush that poked Big Ears in the eye causing him to tumble down the stairs.
The room went silent after a collective gasp as the bunny toppled head over puffy tail down the iron stairs. He hit the third step with a sickening crack and didn’t move once he stopped rolling. A single high pitched scream came from some bunny in the back of the group and broke the surreal scene. Tony rushed forward and checked his pulse. “He’s…dead…” He gulped and sat on the first step before he fell down in shock. “The Easter Bunny…is dead.” The group began crying and battering Tony with questions he just didn’t have the mental capacity to answer in his state of shock. He was trying to process how and why his employees had killed the Easter Bunny.
A shimmering pink light flew into the warehouse and approached the battered bunny’s body. “The Good Fairy!” was whispered repeatedly by the workers. The pink glimmer flashed and dazed every bunny and when they opened their eyes, there stood a fierce woman with long blonde hair, large pointed ears, wearing nothing but a sheer twinkling gown. The Good Fairy did not look happy.
As the highest ranking bunny there, Tony gathered his wits and stepped forward. “Good Fairy, thank you for coming. Can you fix the Easter Bunny? He fell down the stairs.”
When he finished his sentence she stared him down and asked in a deadpan tone, “Is that all? He just fell?”
“Y..Y..Yes. Why?” Tony wasn’t sure why he lied, but he knew that his employees were good bunnies and wouldn’t have wanted to kill any bunny on purpose. They were being rude at the time and he still wasn’t sure why, but it didn’t change the fact that he saw it as an accident.
The beautiful but stern faced woman rubbed her hands together as she scanned the crowd then answered, “I’m never summoned for an accident. One of you has been a bad bunny and Somebunny deserves a punishment. Now as you are the one lying to me, I think it must be… you.” She poked her slim finger into Tony’s speckled nose. He shook his ears back and forth in denial and she went on, “Prepare to be turned into a goon!” The crowd gasped once more.
“Wait! Wait…it was me.” Suzy yelled as she pushed through the workers and came forward with her head hanging in shame. She explained, “I told everyone lies to get them to speed up production. Tony said they were going to shut us down if we didn’t improve. I’m sorry, it just got out of hand and people got upset when Big Ears said all the rumors were true. People threw things; he lost his balance and fell down the stairs.”
Tony spoke out to the employees, “I think you all should know, we had a meeting and he said he was going to consolidate some of the smaller factories into ours, so we could have more help. Big Ears was worried you all were overworked. That’s all…” He turned to Suzy, “I told you it wasn’t definite. Why would you spread false rumors?”
The Good Fairy cleared her throat and interrupted, “No matter, the culprit is found. I will dispense justice and be on my way. It’s almost Easter and now I’ve got to train the next Big Ears. He’s a real bunny buster. Not a softy like this last one. I’d be worried for your positions if I were you.” Everybunny began whispering and turned fearful eyes to the Good Fairy and Tony.
With a wave of her hand, she transformed Suzy’s pristine white fur into slimy black goo and her shape changed to a stickly figure. To look at her, was like staring into a shadow. She was there, but she was not. There was no screaming on her part and the change was instant and gruesome to witness. Many bunnies backed away in fear. In her new garbled growling voice she asked, “What about my babies? They will starve!”
As the Good Fairy collected the last Easter Bunny’s limp body she answered, “Don’t worry about that, you have a new job. Goons are the unseen collectors of eggs. You will wait for chickens around the world to pop eggs from their bums, and bring them back here. Only the freshest will do for Easter! If you’re lucky your family will be able to stand having you around. Most can’t” She finished and pointed a finger while scanning the room. “Use this as a lesson, all of you. Be the best bunnies you can and you’ll never see me again.” Then the Good Fairy, the late Easter Bunny, and Suzy Goon were gone in a pink flash. All that was left was glitter.